As a woman and mother, living a chaotic life. Battling a chronic, serious illness. I been working on getting more “Me Time”. More time to discover my journey in life and to heal my body. To love myself harder than I have in the past.
But I found out as I embarked on this journey of unconditional self love. That sometimes its better to think small and be successful. Than to think too big and fail. With four children under eight, work and a list of obligations. Watching movie marathons or reading a book for few hours was just some of my unrealistic “Me Time” thoughts. I knew I was just thinking too big. So I had to think smaller. Thinking more about what would work for me and my busy lifestyle.
I vowed to get “Me Time” whenever and wherever I could. Not worrying how long it was or when it happened. Or what I’d be doing during that time. Because life doesn’t always go as you plan and there are some things you just cant control. So why stress, worry or complicate things. I have bigger things to tackle like Lyme Disease and raising four children.
So I got my “Me Time” in super woman’s style. I found out that I had to get my time in small amounts throughout each work day. Taking each day, one day at a time. Staying positive and focused on my vision. So whether it was 1 hour of “Me Time” during the twins movie or 30 minutes in the early morning before everyone awakes. Or maybe 20 minutes of personal time waiting at the bus stop for the big kids. I got the “Me Time” in; super woman’s style. Because I know how important “Me Time” is for a woman to grow and prosper.
I have been receiving blessings left and right. Yet it’s Saturday morning and I feel like crap. For once I want to wake up and feel good. While enjoying our beautiful family and what God has bestowed upon me. But its really hard to actually enjoy these blessings with this Lyme dragging me down. Yet even harder to hold and play with my children. Thank god they have a great father. Because every day is a struggle. With the bell palsy in the right side of my face. The arthritis pain all over my body. The fatigue and weakness that consumes me. I really don’t want to move, eat or do anything. But with four kids to care for and bills to pay. I really don’t have a choice. So if I have to do anything at all, I am going to go hard. I figure if I have to endure pain. Struggle and cry to progress in life; I am going to do it better than most. I will be a Super Woman. I will be woman, mother, wife, student, author, chef, blogger, motivational speaker and entrepreneur. My health is unpredictable, so I look at life differently than others. I will live life to the fullest, I never know when Lyme will take me for another nasty turn. So I will continue to search for some natural remedies to put this Lyme in remission. As I continue to inspire other women through my writings and books. While being a role model to my children as I strive to make my mark on the world. As the Super Woman I was born to be.
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Through the nine months of my twin pregnancy, all I did was worry. Worry that my twin boys would be born with Lyme Disease. Or that one would be sick but not the other. Since fraternal twins have separate placentas. I just didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that I didn’t want my babies to suffer as I do. I got tests done and questioned many doctors. They told me that that Lyme Disease couldn’t be passed in utero and that my boys would be healthy. I felt better than ever being pregnant; aside from the normal symptoms of pregnancy. But I knew how tricky Lyme was and my research said different.I discovered this thing called Congenital Lyme. Where this nasty disease can be passed from a mother with chronic Lyme or untreated infection to unborn fetus. That there was a 50/50 chance that my twin babies could be sick. And it depended upon the strength of my immune system. To keep the Lyme in my body, in remission. Away from my precious blessings.I mean after being misdiagnosed for 3 years, my faith in the health care system is nonexistent. I wouldn’t put my children’s lives in the hands of money hungry health professionals. Two years to date, my twins boys are healthy as can be. No serious illnesses or developmental issues at all. Actually cognitively and physically more advanced than children their age. With no traces of Lyme Disease or Borrelia burgdorferi that I know of. I’ve never had them tested nor have felt any Lyme mommy instincts to do so. So I won’t jinx myself or go digging for a diagnosis. I will continue to watch my healthy, Lyme free twin boys become the miracles they was born to be. As I continue to fight this Lyme and try to find a cure. While raising awareness and inspiring every woman and mother to never give up hope. No matter how bad life may get. Because with support, hope and inspiration anything is possible. Even a cure for Lyme.
Check out Author Nicole Walker (@WriterNWalker): https://twitter.com/WriterNWalker?s=09
Let’s get connected ladies. Aim to inspire, educate and inspire one another. We can all shine in this world together United.
When you want to succeed as bad you want to breathe. You will not let anything get in your way. No obstacle, struggle or hate is too strong to stop you from shining. Because you know nothing can stand in your way. So even when all hope seems as its lost. You keeping pushing, even if it means starting over. Because becoming successful won’t happen overnight. In order to succeed, one must fail over and over again. To learn what to do and what not to do. So you can do it 10x better than next time around. By then you will be even more experienced. More prepared to succeed. Ready for the long haul, because you now live and breathe success. You are aware what it takes to achieve self growth, financial security and happiness. As a woman first, mother second.
Woman First Mother Second by Nicole A. Walker