Raising Autism, Chapter. 3 Excerpt : Accepting a Diagnosis

APRIL 2017
“At first I didn’t want to believe what I already knew in my heart. I wasn’t ready to accept an autism diagnosis. I had still been in shock from becoming a mom at 19. Motherhood was new  uncharted territory. I was just adjusting to the fact that life wasn’t about me anymore. So I had been overwhelmed and exhausted from sleepless nights, specialist visits, dietary changes and two hour meltdowns. The unwanted advice from in-laws and mom friends who would say “she’ll grow out of it”. Yet they didn’t know all that I had went through to raise her.

It was at that time, I had felt alone and helpless. I really just wanted to give up on everything.  Maybe run and hide somewhere far away from this thing called life. But I had knew it was just my emotions “talking”.  The confusion in my brain as I wondered how I would raise a child with autism. At the same time I was even more frustrated at the fact I couldn’t do more to help her. To see her smile more than she struggled and cried.

Yet I had to realize accepting her autism diagnosis was what it had came down to. I had to fully accept who my daughter was born to be. Not what I wanted her to be or hoped she’d be. After two years  of different neurologists, psychologists and various tests; I had finally received an autism diagnosis. It was then it had really hit, I was raising a daughter on the autism spectrum. I had to learn how to raise  a child with autism.  Whether  I wanted to accept it or not. That her mental condition wouldn’t go away when she was older. So I immediately became her biggest autism advocate, her biggest fan.. . . . ”

Raising Autism Preview

The Raising Autism Video, See it here..  Twins and Autism Video

In the meantime check out Nicole A. Walker’s first book  Woman First Mother Second




Autism and Vaccinations

Autism and vaccinations has been a much debated topic throughout the years. As a mom of four, with three children on the autism spectrum. (9,8,3 ); I have mixed feelings. I believe vaccinations worsened my daughter’s autism. She was developing typically then after having many vaccinations; she dramatically regressed.Regressive autism could be the case, but its hard to narrow it down. She was delayed in all areas of development and she struggled to thrive. Her immune system became weak and she was always sick. My twin boys on the other hand, only one has autism.Both were on same vaccination schedule, yet we were always behind with shots. So in this case, vaccinations had no affect on his autism. Otherwise his twin brother would have it too. I knew from birth one twin was on the spectrum, so there was no question about the affect of vaccinations on development. 

So despite the recent findings that vaccines dont cause autism; I feel more research needs to be done as every child and case is different. I dont believe vaccines cause autism, but I believe they can trigger it and/or worsen this neurological condition. Maybe it’s particular vaccines that need some investigation. But I believe if you are genetically predisposed to have autism, because it runs in your family; a vaccine or anything foreign to the body can trigger a reaction and/or mutuation in the form of autism. Just like with any other disease or condition that is specific to our unique gene compositions.If its in our genes, there’s always a chance we can get it. 

    So when it comes to parents vaccinating their chidren; its a personal choice for me. A parent must do whats best for their child. Only they can decide that.Therefore I am not against a mom who chooses to not vaccinate her kids. Her kids, her choice. Just respect my decision to vaccinate mine. So I am a mom that is for vaccinations as there is just too many diseases in this world. I feel it’s my job to protect them from illness and vaccines do it for a lifetime. Ive weighed the risks and despite the chances of vaccines causing or worsening autism; they serve great purposes. Vaccines save lives. It protects our children. 

    Everything Happens for a Reason

    We may not always realize at that very give moment why something is happening to us. But everything happens for a reason,whether it be good or bad. For reasons beyond our knowing, beyond our control. Who we thought was right for us, actually wasn’t.What we thought was the wrong thing to do; was in fact so right. But at the time we are usually unaware,so we cant see some things arent meant to be. We cant see the whole picture for what it is. So we try harder to force those things to work out for us. Only to end up with same results because some things truly do happen for a reason. 

    Therefore when we force whats not meant to be or we go against our own intiutions; we must deal with the consequences. When we dont do what our gut tells us to do, we go against whats suppose to be; unknowingly. These are our lessons in life that we must learn from.So we aren’t faced with the same lessons; over and over again. So it’s up to us and how we cope and respond to these life lessons that determine our future.

    We must chose to let go of what was and look at what is to come. Forgiving ourselves for past mistakes. As we learn to live, not just survive. As we accept who we have become and who we will be; flaws and all.With love and conviction in our hearts because we are doing what makes us feel happy inside our minds, bodies and souls.